What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark? Do not consume if seal is broken... 🤣🤣🤣

A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Interesting pet, what’s his name”. “Tiny”, the guy says. “Why Tiny”, the bartender asks. “Because he’s my newt”. 🤪😁

What do you call a Russian with three balls? Whodyanickabollockoff. 🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes I like to bend down and lean forward until I lose my balance. Thats just how I roll. 😂😂😂

What do you call a detective who solves cases accidentally? Sheer Luck Holmes. 😂😂😂

The other day I was attacked by a bunch of circus clowns in a parking lot. I won though, cause I went right for the juggler. 😁😁😁

My friend fell in a river in Egypt last week, but he swears he didn't. He's in de Nile.

I woke up this morning to find that someone had dumped a load of Lego bricks on my doorstep. I don't know what to make of it.

Police have arrested the World Tongue Twister Champion. They said he'll be given a tough sentence.

I hate people with missing toes. Because I'm lack toes intolerant.

Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "We don't want your type in here".

A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame.

My dad lost his job at the cemetery yesterday. He buried someone in the wrong plot. It was a grave mistake.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". John came fifth and won a toaster.

I was in an off license (liquor store) and the owner asked me "Do you need help?". I said, "Yes, but i'll have a bottle of whisky instead."

Where do naughty rainbows go? Prism.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

A man went to visit the zoo. All he found when he got there was a dog..... It was a shitzu.