🍄 Honest mushroom field guide for people who should probably stay home
BROWN CAP, MEDIUM SIZE
→ Could be porcini. Could be a deadly Webcap. Could be anything.
→ Do you feel lucky? Don't.
WHITE MUSHROOM IN THE GRASS
→ Put it down. Walk away. Do not smell it. Do not taste it. Just leave.
BRIGHT RED WITH WHITE SPOTS
→ You know what this is. You've seen it in cartoons.
→ It is exactly as dangerous as the cartoons implied.
TOTALLY HARMLESS-LOOKING THING GROWING ON A LOG
→ 60% chance it's an oyster mushroom (delicious)
→ 40% chance it's Galerina marginata (fatal amatoxins, same habitat)
→ Please learn the difference before eating it
SOMETHING YOUR UNCLE SAYS IS DEFINITELY EDIBLE
→ Your uncle is not a mycologist
→ Your uncle has also never been poisoned, which has made him overconfident
→ Reference a field guide
GLOWING MUSHROOM AT NIGHT
→ Panellus stipticus. Bioluminescent. Real. Also actually inedible.
→ But genuinely one of the coolest things in nature.
→ You're allowed to just look at it.
THE MORAL: Nature is generous and also trying to kill you and you need to know which is which.
Stay humble. Carry a knife. Buy a field guide.
Which one of these is your forager friend? Mine is definitely the uncle category 😂 Tag them.
#MycelNet #MushroomMemes #ForagingHumor #MycologyFacts #WildMushrooms #ForagerLife #MushroomIdentification #Fungi #Mushroom
